You Can Now Buy A Full-Body ‘Mass Effect’ Garrus Pillow

$30 can’t buy you much in 2019. Sure, it can buy you a smaller indie game or two. Maybe dinner for you and your sweetie. A gas tank? $30 just doesn’t go as far as it used to. Unless you’re a Mass Effect fan, then $30 can buy you the whole world and then some. Perhaps as an apology for Mass Effect: Andromeda and then Anthem’s launch, BioWare has announced that you can now pre-order a full-body Garrus Vakarian pillow case so you never have to sleep alone again. No, really. Remember that full-body Garrus pillow BioWare previously did as an April Fools’ joke? It’s now a real thing you can buy with real money so you can real-life cuddle with it in the near-future.

More specifically, you can now buy a full-body pillow cover, featuring Garrus. So, not actually a pillow. It’s $30 and will release on June 17.

“For years, rumors have spread throughout the Milky Way regarding the existence of a Garrus Vakarian Body Pillow,” reads an official product description. “J!NX has searched every corner of the known galaxy and we have found the legends to be true. We’ve acquired the official Garrus Vakarian Body Pillow, available for a limited-time pre-order.

“Now you can get some much-needed shut-eye while one of your most loyal squad mates watches your back. This companion pillow provides comfort and protection when your guard is down. At 53 x 43 inches, you’ve never seen loyalty like this! Your sleeping situation just got a whole lot less complicated.”

The listing notes that the pillow case is made with a “super comfortable” brushed polyester, and reafirms multiple times that it’s a real product and not a pillow, just a case. In other words, it’s a bit pricey for a pillow case, but come on, it has Garrus on it.

Anyway, if the case tickles your toes you can find and pre-order it right here. As for me, I think I’ll be skipping on the case and hoping they release one with Wrex on it. I’d pay a lot of money for a full-body pillow case with Wrex on it.

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