Jurassic Park Games Get Ripped To Shreds By Jeff Goldblum and Honest Game Trailers

With Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom set to hit theaters this week, Smosh Games thought it’d be a great idea to cover the “classic” (loose term there) games in the Jurassic Park series. But then it got a really good idea and invited Dr. Ian Malcolm himself, Jeff Goldblum, to talk about said games for a little bit.

The Honest Game Trailers can be seen above and it’s absolutely epic when it comes to talking about the odd range of Jurassic Park games we’ve gotten over the years. For every awesome arcade shooter that we’ve gotten (like Sega’s The Lost World: Jurassic Park), we’ve gotten an unquestionably bad game to go along with it (like whatever that Primal Rage wannabe is -- ah, yes, Warpath).

The trailer kicks off with the narrator discussing how “franchises are milked until they’re drier than a box of sand,” and how the games are based on a “classic film franchise about history’s worst idea for a theme park that will have you asking, ‘How do you screw up fighting dinosaurs?’” It’s a good question.

We then get a look at the different spin-offs that turned “three movies” into “forty-plus bad games,” with dinos meeting their extinction, as well as gameplay that’s “mostly the exact opposite of everything that happens in Jurassic Park.” However, shooting raptors with rocket launchers would be kind of fun.

In the midst of the trailer (where the bad Telltale Games title is mentioned alongside others), Goldblum shows up, right after Lego Jurassic World (which is actually good), to talk about the games.

And right on cue, he says, “The video game developers were so preoccupied with whether they could make a Jurassic Park game, they didn’t stop to think if they should make a game where you don’t even bring back the heroic, good-looking, brilliant Ian Malcolm.”

Obviously, he plugs the Jurassic World Evolution game that came out earlier this month from Frontier Developments, in which he narrates. He’s then asked if it’s a plug, in which Jeff replies, “Well, I mean, is it a plug if it’s for the best Jurassic game?” He’s got a point.

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Also, call him Jeff or Dr. Malcolm. It’s official.

Hold onto your butts and watch the fun above, then check out Jurassic World Evolution for Xbox One, PlayStation 4 and PC. Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom arrives this Friday.