Jek Tono Porkins: probably the most disrespected member of the entire Rebel Alliance. The slightly overweight member or Red Squadron during the Battle of Yavin, Porkins, call sight Red Six, was downed by the Death Star's turbolaser when his X-wing malfunctioned.
But he's a little bit of a bigger guy, and his name has "ton" and "pork" in it. Disrespect.
Enter Chris Jericho, in a video from Jamie Stangroom & Vince Ives. Jericho, the outspoken WWE Superstar known for his current gimmicks like "The List," "Stupid Idiot," and those amazing scarves, presents himself as Jek Porkins, Jr., and he's pissed that his dad can't get any respect.
"A footnote in the history of Star Wars, he was the man most responsible for destroying the Death Star," he says, emphatically. Wellllllll...
Regardless of the veracity of the statement, it makes for a hilarious video. As it continues, a Star Wars crawl rolls, saying,
"Rogue II: A Porkins Story. Please help kickstart my bootleg Jek Tono Porkins Pop vinyl figurines. Biggs Darklighter. R2-Q5. Nalan Cheel. All these minor Star Wars characters have Pop Vinyl action figures. Where is the Jek Tono Porkins action figure? The man who destroyed the Death Star!!* I reached out to Funko who said it wouldn't be 'cost effective' because of the volume of plastic involved. THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE."
As goofy as the video is - and it's very goofy, it's hard to say Jericho - er... Porkins, Jr. doesn't have a point. Is a random R2 astromech really more important than a member of Red Squadron, for Force sakes?
Watch the video above, which for some reason includes a very strange edit of Porkins taking out the Death Star, then being shot down by Jar Jar Binks on accident, and Porkins as other characters, just for funsies. It sounds like Funko is on the list.
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