Roommate Gets Assaulted With a Legend of Zelda Master Sword, Leading To Arrest

We understand that people get in fights pretty often – generally over useless squabbles that can resolved by, I dunno, talking things over. But the really weird ones involve video game weaponry getting involved.

For instance, the Anchorage Daily News recently reported that some roommates renting an apartment near the University of Alaska got into a serious fistfight before the weekend – one that led to the introduction of the Master Sword from The Legend of Zelda. No, we’re not kidding.

According to the report, 22-year old Jeremy Tazruk was arrested for assault after the roommates’ argument soon involved pushing and shoving, as well as an attack with a kitchen knife. But then things really escalated when Tazruk grabbed a replica of The Legend of Zelda Master Sword that was perched on the apartment wall, and began hitting someone (a roommate only known as T.P.) “using its sheath”). He was apparently the man that reportedly started the attack with the other roommates.

The accusation notes that Tazruk hit T.P. “multiple times” with the sword. That said, though, it didn’t do any major cutting. “The edges of the sword were not sharp, but the tip was sharp.” And apparently, it didn’t survive the attack, as the officers noted that “there was a bent sword on the floor next to the door” when they arrived.

Tazruk is also facing assault charges with the knife, and is being charged with fourth-degree assault and reckless endangerment. It’s unknown if the other roommates are being charged with anything in the fight, or what happened when everything settled down.

But enough is enough, people. A perfectly good Master Sword lost its life due to a fight between these roommates and will never return to its sheath. For that matter, somewhere Ganondorf is laughing, knowing that particular Master Sword will never be able to stop him.

Let this be a lesson for next time. Leave the replica sword where it is and try to attack someone with a Nerf bat. Or Nerf guns. Or something that won’t actually leave marks of assault. The last thing we need is more ruined Master Swords!

(Thanks to Kotaku for the tip!)