It’s Halloween season, and everywhere you look you’ll find some of the biggest Marvel heroes, including Spider-Man, Scarlet Witch, Iron Man, Black Widow, Captain Marvel, Black Panther, Captain America, and more. So, if you want to stand out you’ve got to bring your A-Game, and 10-year-old Evan Struckman did just that, as he and his mother Jill created an awesome costume inspired by Robert Downey Jr.’s Tony Stark. In a series of Facebook posts, Jill revealed that while Evan was excited to show off the costume at the school Halloween party, several children on the school bus made fun of him, causing his exciting day to take an unfortunate detour.
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Jill told PEOPLE “he thought he looked awesome”, and as you can see, he most certainly did. The bus ride is where things went awry. “20 minutes after he got on the bus, I got a phone call from school letting me know he was in the office and some kids had said mean things to him,” Jill said. “He wanted to be picked up and he was really, really upset. He had gone straight to the bathroom after getting off the bus and washed his face to get all the makeup off.”
He didn’t want to stay for the party as a result, and Jill went on to say she had never seen him so upset over something others were saying about him. “I had never heard him that heartbroken over something someone had said about him before,” Jill said. “He’s the kid who will go to picture day in a tuxedo or business suit, and usually lets things roll right off his shoulders.”
She then shared a picture of Evan in the car without his makeup on and he looked quite crushed. “We both have swollen eyes from crying and are on our way to try to find ice cream. Kids need to understand that WORDS hurt,” Jill wrote on Facebook. She and Evan talked at Starbucks for a bit and that’s when things turned around.
“He knew he looked great, he just let what they said get to him,” Jill said. “They told him that everyone would think it looked stupid and that weighed on him. I just said, ‘You know you look awesome, so why are you letting their opinions hold you back? You’re gonna miss your party over their opinions? Maybe they’re just jealous!’ Finally, I said, Do you want to go back?’ and he said, ‘Yes!”
They got him back in full costume and makeup and he walked back into the school and to the party, and it wasn’t long before people started talking about how great his costume was.
“He was a little scared, but as soon as we walked in the office door, all the ladies, who hadn’t seen his makeup, said he was so cute,” Jill said. “He got a lot of positive attention right away… and by the time he got off the bus later that day, he was just happy as could be.”
Jill also said that the kids who picked on him were later “dealt with by the school and apologized to him.” Jill said she has “never been more proud” of Evan, and added “Evan even learned from this. He’s never gonna be that kid who hurts someone else’s feelings. He’s normally not affected by what other people think and say… so the fact that it bothered him so badly just broke our hearts.”
Several of her posts went viral and she actually apologized to Evan for sharing them, as she didn’t mean for them to get that much attention. Evan took it in stride though.
“Once it really took off, I apologized to him. It made me sick to my stomach because I didn’t know it would be received in that way,” Jill said. “But he actually was comforting me the other day and said it was okay that I shared that picture because that shows people what it looks like whenever you get bullied.”
Many have tried to get Downey Jr’s attention with the story, and while Jill and Evan would love that, Evan is just happy to make a difference.
“Evan would love that,” Jill said. “But he’s mostly really happy that he’s making a difference and inspiring others to be brave… We’re all overwhelmed with the love and support.”
“Words are important. I almost didn’t write ‘bullying’ in the post because he wasn’t physically hurt, but it does hurt. Words hurt, they matter,” Jill said. “If you see it happening, stand up for the kid who’s getting teased. We’ve all been there, that’s why this has gone viral. It resonates with everyone. It’s every mother’s worse fear, their kid getting hurt… but this has restored our faith in humanity. To see so much love has been so nice.”
If you want to send Evan a card, you can address it to “Jill Struckman, PO Box 362, Cottleville, MO, 63338”.
