Wrestling history has been filled with many epic gimmick matches. Matches that have stretched the imagination and pushed the boundaries of viewer’s expectations. But not all gimmick matches are created equal. For every Hell in a Cell, Money in the Bank and Royal Rumble, there have been some absolute garbage concepts that never should have seen the light of a wrestling pay per view.
This Sunday at WWE Payback, we will find out which category Randy Orton and Bray Wyatt’s House of Horrors match falls in.
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With only days until the event, some details of the match are finally starting to emerge. On this week’s Monday Night Raw, Corey Graves stated that the match will begin outside of the ring (presumably in some kind of “house”) and then conclude inside of it.
During the promos leading up to the bout, Wyatt has left out any specifics; only making vague threats that would apply to nearly any match WWE eventually comes up with. On Tuesday’s SmackDown, Randy said “I don’t know what a House of Horrors match is, but I guess I’ll find out on Sunday.” Way to sell it, Randy!
Giving more clues that WWE is planning this as they go, WWE.com recently sent out a survey asking viewers what they wanted to see in a House of Horrors match. Some of the options were:
- Cage
- Darkness
- Fire
- Pitch Forks
- “Sheeple”
- Mirrors
- Projected images
- Fog
- A match set outside the arena
- Creepy/scary
- Music
- Other
Not knowing what is going to happen this Sunday could be viewed as a negative, but I for one, can’t wait to see what kind of atrocity this turns into. Wrestling doesn’t always have to be filled with five star ironman matches that end in clean, hard fought victories. It can often be at its most fun when it tries something new and falls flat on its face.
Such was definitely the case for the following 5 gimmick matches – the worst in wrestling history.
5. Chamber Of Horrors Cage Match
Take a cage match, put some of the biggest names in the business in it – Scott Hall, Sting, Cactus Jack, the Steiners, Big Van Vader, Abdullah the Butcher as well as El Gigante – and put it on a PPV. What could possibly go wrong?
Since the match was to be held at Halloween Havoc, WCW decided it needed to up the spook factor. To do this, they put an “electric chair” in the middle of the ring with the object of the match being that a winner would not be crowned until someone was put in the chair, and yes, electrocuted.
As Mick Foley climbed up to flip the electrocution switch, Rick Steiner belly to belly’d Abdullah the Butcher into the chair, thus forcing the hardcore icon to take the “shocking” loss. On the plus side, the cage for the Chamber of Horrors match was, in many ways, a predecessor for Hell in a Cell, as it was large enough to allow for stars to compete outside of the ring while still being in the cage.
On the down side … electric chair.
4. Doomsday Cage Match
When your idea for a wrestling match comes from the movie, Ready to Rumble, you may want to scrap it. Sadly, the WCW did nothing of the sorts as they attempted the three-tiered cage match concept on several different occasions.
The structure looks imposing, but the problems with the Doomsday Cage is that most of the match is just spent climbing, punching and kicking. There’s just not much room to do anything else in the small upper cage and the middle one is only loosely supported by a chain length floor.
The rules for the match are even more confusing. In Ready To Rumble, it works basically like a Money in the Bank match. The goal is to climb to the top and grab the championship. However, WCW later made a rule change where the wrestler would have to go up and grab the belt and also leave the cage with it to be crowned winner.
Three cages also made for awful camera angles and well, awful angles all together. But hey, it looked great on Ready To Rumble.
3. Kennel From Hell Match
What do you get when you mix a Hell In A Cell match with the Puppy Bowl? You get the blow off to The Big Bossman’s feud with Al Snow. After Boss Man attacked Al Snow during a defense of the Hardcore title and stole the champion’s beloved pet dog, Pepper, WWE ran an angle where Boss Man revealed that Snow had inadvertently eaten his ‘best friend’. Naturally, there was no where else to go but a Hell in a Cell match surrounded by vicious attack dogs.
Who could possibly come up with such a horrendous idea? Vince Russo, of course. Al Sno later revealed that Russo had seen recently seen the movie “Son of Sam”, in which the character heard voices from a Chihuahua, so that’s how the kennel match idea came about. Snow explained he wanted to make sure the animals they worked with in the match were highly trained.
They were not. In fact, the dogs were a complete non-factor in this match, thus making the stipulation even more ridiculous than forcing a man to eat his own dog.
Speaking of Vince Russo …
2. (Vince Russo) On A Pole Match
Vince Russo certainly didn’t invent the “on a pole” match, but he definitely rode the pole concept into the ground during his time in WCW and TNA. One of the must nuttiest pole matches came in 2000 at WCW SuperBrawl where Big Al squared off with Tank Abbott in a Leather Jacket on a Pole Match. Another bizarre stipulation was the Viagra on a pole match between Shane Douglas and Billy Kidman (which you can see above) as the storyline was that Shane Douglas had a sex tape with Kidman’€™s valet Torrie Wilson. However, he encountered “problems” that led to the need of viagra.
While many physicians would recommend seeing a doctor, they would likely tell you wrestling someone in a “on a pole” match is the next best thing. Russo’€™s obsessions for poles hit new heights in the San Francisco 49ers match between Booker T and Jeff Jarrett where there were FOUR objects on a pole match. Three of the boxes contained weapons while one contained the WCW World Heavyweight Title.
If only someone had put Russo’s creative freedoms on a pole …
1. Shark Cage Match
When you hear Shark Cage match, you probably picture someone suspended in a shark cage high above the ring like a “sexy pinata”. When Big Time Wrestling promised a shark cage match in 1977, they took the concept a little too literally, squeezing two big men — Chief Jay Strongbow and “Bulldog” Don Kent — into the tiniest of spaces and ordering them to make an entertaining match out of it. Since neither man could fall down, pinfalls were a complete non-factor.
To win a shark cage match, one had to escape the cage. Since either man could reach the escape route without even taking a step, a victory could be fairly easily attained. What made the concept an even bigger fail was the fact that the door on the low budget shark cage kept swinging open by itself. Yet at the point where Stronbow was supposed to win the match, the door gets stuck. Strongbow has to visibly struggle to unstick the lock and win the match.
To top it all off, the match went nearly 7 FREAKING MINUTES LONG!
Where will this Sunday’s House of Horrors match rank on the all-time list? We can only hope it cracks the top five.
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