Tom Cruise’s Mission: Impossible Rant Becomes Hilarious Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Parody

Tom Cruise’s Mission Impossible rant became a hilarious Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer parody this week. Credit to Jason Gallagher of The Ringer for just leaning into the absurdity of a strange week near the end of 2020. For those unaware, the Mission Impossible star took some of the crew members to task over the possibility of them breaking coronavirus protocols while filming. When audio of the profanity-laced tirade hit the web, people from all corners absolutely had to comment on it. The question of how all of these productions would adapt to a COVID-19 landscape has hovered in the air for most of the year. But, all of those conversations came roaring back after Mr. Cruise decided to make sure he let those crew members hear about themselves. Gallagher’s post is the sort of hilarious mashup that only 2020 could produce. Check it out down below:

“We want the gold standard. They’re back there in Hollywood making movies right now because of us! Because they believe in us and what we’re doing!I’m on the phone with every f***ing studio at night, insurance companies, producers, and they’re looking at us and using us to make their movies,” Cruise began. “We are creating thousands of jobs you motherf***ers.I don’t ever want to see it again, ever! And if you don’t do it you’re fired, if I see you do it again you’re f***ing gone. And if anyone in this crew does it – that’s it, and you too and you too. And you, don’t you ever f***ing do it again.”

“That’s it! No apologies,” Cruise went on. “You can tell it to the people that are losing their f***ing homes because our industry is shut down. It’s not going to put food on their table or pay for their college education. That’s what I sleep with every night. The future of this f***ing industry! So I’m sorry I am beyond your apologies. I have told you and now I want it and if you don’t do it you’re out. We are not shutting this f***ing movie down! Is it understood? If I see it again you’re f***ing gone — and you are — so you’re going to cost him his job, if I see it on the set you’re gone and you’re gone. That’s it. Am I clear?”

“Do you understand what I want? Do you understand the responsibility that you have? Because I will deal with your reason,” Cruise added. “And if you can’t be reasonable and I can’t deal with your logic, you’re fired. That’s it. That is it.I trust you guys to be here. That’s it. That’s it guys. Have a little think about it. . .[inaudible].That’s what I think of Universal and Paramount. Warner Brothers. Movies are going because of us.”

“If we shut down it’s going to cost people f***ing jobs, their home, their family. That’s what’s happening. All the way down the line. And I care about you guys, but if you’re not going to help me you’re gone. OK? Do you see that stick? How many metres is that? When people are standing around a f***ing computer and hanging out around here, what are you doing? And if they don’t comply then send their names to Matt Spooner. That’s it,” the star concluded.

Do you think Cruise is right? Let us know down in the comments! Check out the responses here: